Because everything is never as it seems
by Diabolo Framboise
Summary: Toby is not as okay as he seems to be with everything going on between Happy and Walter. Here's my take on Toby being a little less understanding regarding the events and Happy having to work a little bit harder to get him back Since episode 7 some events in this fic are not canon anymore because this chapter was written about a week ago. Please give it a chance anyway. 2 parts
1. Chapter 1

**Since episode 7 some events in this fic are not canon anymore because this chapter was written about a week ago. Please give it a chance anyway :-)**

 **2 parts**

 **Thanks to scorpion-life who edited this chapter**

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Toby was brooding. He was gloomily watching Happy and Walter as they were perfecting their matching Halloween costumes and he hated every second of it.

It had been three weeks since the beginning of the INS inspection and it had been three weeks of pure hell. Joyce, the INS lady was like a dog with a bone and she wasn't giving them any breathing space. She was there all the time, questioning, scrutinizing, demanding, watching and driving everybody crazy.

Toby understood the way Happy and Walter needed to act in order to get out of this mess but it didn't mean he had to be okay with it. And he was anything but okay with any of it.

He was not okay with the matching Halloween costumes. He was not okay with the endearments. He was not okay with the hand holding, or with the kisses and the cuddles.

He was especially not okay with Happy and Walter living together and sharing the same bed while all he was getting was sleepless nights alone in his bed.

He had to stop sleeping on the floor next to Happy and Walter as Joyce was getting suspicious at seeing him so early in the mornings and so late in the evenings at the garage. His excuses were starting to sound fake, even to him.

It was killing Toby to leave Happy and Walter alone every night and see them coming down the stairs together every morning holding hands for Joyce's benefit. He knew there wasn't anything romantic about it, but it was agonizing anyway.

Joyce's presence was so overbearing that Toby hadn't had a real chance to be alone with Happy since the beginning of the inspection and he was really starting to get angry about the whole situation. It was getting to the point where he didn't know how much longer he could hold it all in.

There was so much they needed to discuss! The baby, the wedding, their future together, everything that mattered so much to him had been pushed aside with this inspection.

Toby was feeling more and more sidelined with every passing day and Happy's attitude was not helping. She didn't seem to feel the need to talk things through with Toby and it was hurting him more than he could express. Every time he tried to reach out to Happy, to talk to her about their life together, she found a new way to deflect.

Toby was trying to understand why Happy was so reluctant to talk about them but he was failing. He knew better than anybody else that she wasn't an open book but there was a difference between her usual reserved self and the way she had been pushing him away lately.

Her only concern at the time seemed to be getting Walter his citizenship no matter what. She didn't seem to realize that it was distancing herself from Toby more and more every day and endangering their relationship. She was often cold and annoyed with him, oblivious to how much he needed to be comforted and reassured about her feelings.

Toby shifted on his chair, his eyes still fixed on Walter and Happy. There was an even worse thought nagging in his head and as much as he was trying to push it away it was coming back mercilessly.

Would Happy have agreed to marry him if it weren't for the baby?

He perfectly understood the need she had to give birth in a stable family. She wanted to give her baby everything she never had. However, he also knew that getting married for no other reason than being pregnant was bad. A baby wasn't enough to make a marriage successful. So much more was needed to be able to spend life together with someone. Did they have what it took? Toby had absolutely no doubts about what he felt and what he wanted, but he wasn't so sure any more about Happy. She did tell him she was in love with him but she had acted so cold and so distant lately that he was at loss to what to think.

Toby's painful thoughts were derailed by a noise and he saw Walter and Happy laughing with each other looking at their outfits. Happy playfully hit Walter's arms at a teasing comment he made on her dress and Toby cringed. It was more contact that she had granted him in the last three weeks. Three weeks without a hug, a kiss or even a squeeze of a hand. Three weeks that all those gestures were directed to Walter and to Walter only.

Happy laughed again at something Walter said and Toby was done. He was fed up with all of this. Fed up with being pushed aside by Happy. Fed up at hearing her laugh with Walter when she was barely talking to him. Fed up of watching her wrapped in Walter's arms when he hadn't touched her in three weeks. He was fed up with everything.

Toby grabbed his bag from his desk and stormed outside the garage without even bothering to say a word to anyone. He slammed the door with more force than necessary, hoping to release a little bit of frustration with a violent gesture. Tonight tequila would be a better friend than anybody else he decided while walking to his car. Truth to be told, tequila had been his friend several nights in a row lately. He was longing for the haze of the alcohol soothing his pain and sending away all his taunting thoughts.

Happy watched Toby leave with a painful feeling in her stomach. Contrary to what Toby was thinking she was perfectly aware that he was not okay. She had noticed the dark circles around his eyes, more and more pronounced since she was spending her nights alone with Walter. She had seen his haggard looks every time she was kissing Walter. She had observed his defeated stance whenever she was smiling at Walter. She had also devastatingly noticed the way he was slowly backing away from the pregnancy.

Toby was still asking her every day about her well-being and providing her with every craving she might have, but he was doing it more and more mechanically, more and more emotionlessly.

Happy had questioned him about it once during one of the only interactions she had granted him lately.

"How come you haven't been harassing me with steaks and eggs lately?" she had asked in a failed attempt at humor.

Toby's answered had been sharp and cutting.

"You should be happy about it, you are the one who asked me to back away."

He had turned on his heels even before his sentence was over, leaving Happy with a giant lump in her throat.

Because contrary to what she was pretending, Happy was not okay either. She was so far from being okay that it was astounding to her that Toby was missing it. But Toby had his judgment clouded by his feelings for her and by the pain she was inflicting on him, so it made sense.

The reason of her behavior was both simple and complicated. Happy had never been more terrified in her whole life. Terrified to become a mother, terrified to lose Toby because of her lies about Walter, terrified about the drastic changes that were happening so fast in her life. Lately she had felt like she had no control over anything anymore and it was paralyzing her. She was overwhelmed like she had never been before and everything was just so much that sometimes she couldn't even breathe when thinking about it. Admitting to Toby that she was such in a bad emotional shape would shatter the frail control over herself she was so desperately trying to keep.

And most of all Happy was terrified of what Toby was thinking. She knew how badly she hurt him when she rejected his proposal. What if he couldn't trust her anymore? What if he hadn't rescinded the proposal just because she was pregnant? She had so many doubts and she was so scared of what Toby might say that she was unable to find the courage to talk to him.

Happy was caught up in the most painful vicious circle of her life. The more she was distressed the more she was pushing Toby away and the more she was pushing Toby away the more she was distressed. It was a living hell that she had no idea how to stop.

On impulse Happy ran after Toby outside the garage.

"Toby, wait!" she called just when he was about to enter his car. Toby turned to look at her.

"Do you need something?" he asked. His tone was quite gentle but disillusioned and his eyes were so sad that it badly wounded her.

"Well, I wanted to know how you are," she offered tentatively.

Toby shrugged. "Joyce is gonna be here any minute, Happy. We don't have time to talk." He sighed, then added bitterly, "And since when do you want to talk about how I am anyway?"

Happy wanted to answer, she wanted to protest but the air had been pushed out of her lungs at Toby's coldness. She watched him enter his car and leave, unable to move, heartbroken and more terrified than ever.

For the very first time it dawn on her that she could lose Toby for real if she kept acting the way she did. Happy's heart constricted painfully and she had to breathe to fight dizziness.

She couldn't keep thinking that Toby would be there, no matter the way she was treating him. She had taken his love for granted for too long and it was time she stopped. She couldn't keep pushing him away and hoping he would be there anyway. It was time she fought her every instincts and that she let Toby know all of her doubts and fears. She loved this man more than anything. Losing him was not an option. There was nothing Happy wanted more that spend her life with him and it was time he knew it.

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 **Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it. If you did please let me know, it always makes my day :-)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi guys, this is the second part. Thanks for your patience.**

 **Some things in this chapter are not canon anymore since 3x7**

 **Thank you to scorpion-life for editing the chapter and improving it :-)  
**

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Happy knew it wouldn't be easy to win Toby's trust back. First of all because he was badly wounded by her behavior and second of all because with Joyce breathing into her neck she could barely move.

Happy thought about a lot of different options but none of them were ideal given the situation. She then decided to settle for something very simple and she chose to start with the most important thing that Toby needed to know.

Toby's car was long gone when Happy grabbed her phone and typed out a short text.

"I love you"

She hit the send button and went back to the garage, hoping with all her might that it wasn't too late. She waited anxiously all night for an answer, whatever it might be but her phone stayed devastatingly silent. Toby didn't mention anything the day after but she caught him looking at her with an inscrutable look on his face.

With that, Happy took her phone from her pocket and typed another text.

"I mean it"

Toby shrugged when he read the message but his face softened a little bit and Happy decided that it had to be a good sign.

She waited for Toby to go home for the night to send him another text.

"I am sorry for everything I'm putting you through," she wrote this time.

"I know how hard it is for you and I know I haven't been helpful lately," she added after a few minutes of silence.

Finding the right words to make Toby understand what she was going through was very hard and Happy was frustrated with herself. She desperately hoped her efforts would be enough to show Toby how much she wanted to be with him and how sorry she was for everything.

She typed a last "I love you," before going to bed with a sad sigh, hoping the next day would be better and she'd get Toby to understand just how much she loved him.

Happy didn't get an answer that night but Toby did offer her a hesitant smile the day after and the agonizing twist in her stomach loosen a little bit. She might be clumsy with her way of apologizing but at least Toby was not shutting her out.

"I'm sorry I have been so distant lately," she typed the following night.

Happy hesitated for a long time, trying to sort her thoughts out and then she added "I have no idea how to handle this situation and that is why I have been pushing you away. It has nothing to do with the way I feel about you or about us. I want to be with you."

This text still didn't earn her an answer but Toby sat next to her the next morning during a briefing from Cabe about a new case and snuck a glance or two her way. It was the first time since she had started to text him and it was enough to make her feel a little bit better.

The following couple of days were particularly hard for Happy as Toby was out of town with the team for a case. She had been grounded to the garage because of the baby and she hated not being able to be with him, especially with everything going on between them at the time.

"I miss you," she wrote to him the first night of his absence but she decided that it wasn't enough.

"I miss your smile," she continued, resolutely hitting the send button. "I miss the stupid nicknames you give me. I miss your arms around me. I miss falling asleep next to you. I miss the way you look at me. I miss your voice when you talk to me. I miss holding your hand. I miss you. All of you. And I didn't know I could miss someone this much."

Happy took a shaky breath. It was one of the hardest things she ever had to do. She had never said those sorts of things to anybody. But it was for Toby and Toby was worth it a million times. She sent a last text.

"I don't want to lose you"

Toby was at the garage at dawn the morning after. He went straight to Happy and hugged her very briefly but very tightly. "Thank you," he whispered in her ear before releasing her and going to his desk. For the first time in days Happy felt like she was breathing easier. Toby obviously needed more time but at least he was not pushing her away.

About a week later Toby found an envelope on his desk. Nothing was written on it but he knew it was from Happy. He opened it carefully and a picture fell from it. It was a sonogram with a little note pinned to it. "I introduce you to Tobias Merriweather Curtis Jr".

Toby's heart skipped a beat and his eyes moistened suddenly. He shot a quick look at Happy who was anxiously looking at him with an unusual emotion written all over her features, despite her close proximity to the INS agent. Joyce was going through a file next to her but Toby didn't care and suddenly jumped to his feet, walking straight to Happy.

"I'm sorry I need to show Happy something about our current case," he barked at Joyce, who was taken aback by his sudden appearance. He then grabbed Happy's hand and guided her forcefully upstairs until they reached the roof.

Happy opened her mouth to explain but she didn't have the chance to say a word as Toby grabbed her face in his hands and attacked her mouth with his. Screw Joyce, screw the inspection, screw everything. The mother of his child had just introduced him to their baby, so just screw anything that wasn't related to this.

Toby backed Happy up against a wall, kissing her hungrily and messily, almost aggressively. He poured all his pent up frustration into his kiss, overwhelmed to finally have her in his arms after a month without touching her. Happy looped her arms around his neck and answered his kiss with the same need and desperation. She pushed herself against him, almost as if she were trying to fuse her body with his. They kissed senseless for what seemed like forever, only pulling apart when they couldn't breathe anymore. When Toby finally broke the kiss, Happy stayed glued to him, her head burrowed under his chin and her hands tightly gripping his shirt.

"We should have done this a long time ago," she mumbled against his chest. Toby nodded eagerly and stepped back just enough to be able to look at her.

"Thank you for the sonogram," he said quietly, obviously filled with emotion.

Happy smiled up at him.

"I'm so sorry for everything, Toby," she whispered, brushing her fingers across his cheek gently, as if she was convincing herself he was actually there standing in front of her, his arms wrapped around her. "You have no idea how sorry I am for everything I put you through. I love you so much and I can't wait for us to start our lives together."

Toby pinched his lips and hesitated but they had lost enough time.

"Would you still want to marry me if you weren't pregnant?" he asked bluntly.

Happy took a step back in surprise, staring at him with stupefaction on her face.

"How can you think such a thing?" she exclaimed. "Me wanting to marry you has nothing to do with me being pregnant. I want to marry you for you, Toby. You have no idea how it killed me to say no to your proposal. I want to spend my life with you, baby or no baby."

Toby watched her with intensity but he could see no lies there. He sighed in relief as Happy hesitated.

"What about you?" she asked softly, a wobble to her voice as she reached for his hand. "Would you still want to marry me after everything I put you through if it weren't for the baby?"

It was Toby's turn to be stunned.

"You are the love of my life, Happy. Nothing will ever change that. I just need to know you feel the same way about me. We haven't talked about anything since I found out you're pregnant and you have been so cold with me lately," he sighed, "I didn't know what to think."

Toby didn't mean to but his tone was a bit of accusatory and Happy lowered her head.

"I know and I'm sorry," she said in a low voice. "I was so scared, Toby. Scared to be pregnant, scared that my marriage to Walter would ruin the family that I want with you, scared that you wouldn't want or trust me anymore. I know I reacted in the worst way by pushing you away, but I didn't know how to handle this."

Toby took her face in his hands to look at her.

"You should have talked to me instead of pushing me away," he replied firmly. "You are not supposed to handle this alone. We are in this together. Do you realize we have both been terrified of losing each other, that we pushed each other away, when all we want is to be together? None of this would have happened if we had just talked in the first place."

Happy nodded. He was right and she knew it.

"I know. And again I'm sorry. That's why I sent you all those texts. I was hoping they would make you understand why I was pushing you away. "

"Well, the texts were unexpected," Toby admitted with a smile, pushing a piece of hair behind her ear. "They helped make me feel better even if I wasn't ready to answer them yet."

Happy raised her face to kiss him briefly. She had been without his touch for so long that she couldn't seem to stop herself from wanting his lips on hers. When she finally pulled back, she spoke in a quiet, gentle voice.

"I understand. I just wanted you to know that I love you and I didn't know how to do it."

Toby's smile grew. "I know it now. And now that I know you don't want to get married just because of the baby, I think I'm good. I love you, Happy."

Happy looked at him hopefully.

"So, you're not mad at me anymore?" she asked tentatively.

Toby grinned down at her and kissed her for a long time before answering.

"No, Happy. I'm not mad at you anymore."

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 **Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it! If you did please let me know, it makes me really happy :-)**


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